Appreciating the Church in the Kip

            Since coming out to Camp Qwanoes I`ve found it a struggle to get deeply involved and connected with the church I`ve been assigned to. I know there is a reason that God has placed me at that church and I know he’s going to do a lot of awesome work through me during my time there. One of the hardest things being here has been the lack of connection I’ve made with the church assigned to me as I have been missing my church back home a massive amount. I always appreciated my church back home and loved it because it felt like one big family. Since coming here I’ve learned to appreciate it even more because of experiences from my ministry areas and with the completion of the Church Ministry course. I have really come to appreciate the worship style and fellowship of my church back home along with the equal focus on all aspects of the church and finally a major component of my church back home that has been missed is the youth group/ children’s ministry programs available.

            My Church back home has a great worship leader who is able to connect in a deep and intimate way with the rest of the church. He loves worshiping and he does a great job at it. His rhythm, song choice and band choice are all really well done and the church can tell that he is passionate about it and talented in the area of music. My church back home is really good at not putting too strong of a focus on worship but enough that people are able to sense the Holy Spirit through our worship times that we have. One thing that Innerkip Presbyterian has started doing that is a really sweet thing is having worship nights. So that they aren’t taking all the time up in the service they begin a worship service outside of the Sunday morning church services. This is an idea that I think is really cool and I appreciate that movement occurring.

            The fellowship at my home church was one of the things that initially connected me. Since coming here and being invited and welcomed into my church here I’ve realized I definitely appreciate the fellowship at my home church. A reason I’ve realized this is because to me my church back home was like a family. People cared about my life and what was going on we spent time communicating with one another for sometimes hours after the church service and it was always an encouragement going on a Sunday knowing I would be welcomed, loved, and cared about. I also appreciate the way that my church back home isn’t over welcoming but welcoming enough that you don’t feel left out or not accepted.

            Finally the children’s ministry and youth ministry programs are something I’ve come to appreciate a massive amount. Back home the youth leader and children’s ministry leaders put a massive amount of time into planning on ways to get individuals involved and the effort that goes forth is always evident as there is always a large number of individuals. Not only are many people attending but they aren’t finding themselves bored as a lot of time is put into welcoming individuals, having fun, and sharing about God. I find that my church back home after the church ministry course as a healthy balance of all the different purposes of a church and aspects that make the church a church. My church back home does an incredible job at welcoming, focusing on worship, fellowship, evangelism, and teaching. My church also does a lot of mission trips and serving others which is another aspect that I have come to appreciate since being here.  

God's work in ministry

In my ministry at Bethel Tabernacle through the vision of the youth guy- Phil, and the passion through prayer and worship of leaders I have seen God moving within the youth who attend and the leaders who lead.

I have seen god in the youth group as I see more individuals attending youth and really being attentive. Though they may be coming originally for the friends and the fun the fact that they are there are giving us as leaders the opportunity to minister and share God with them. Though many try and ditch the message leaders are cracking down and really trying to encourage them to stay for worship and the message. Kids are less distracted during the message and seem to be focused and listening attentively. Through the reactions of the youth throughout the message I am able to see God working. I am able to see God challenging them with different thoughts and ideas. I can tell that what they believe In is being challenged and some are even making a choice to follow God.
            In one particular individual I have been seeing god doing absolutely incredible things. Though I haven't been able to connect in a deep way with many individuals there is one I have been. In her I see God doing some pretty incredible things. I see God challenging her to reach out to others and challenging her to pray for others. I find it so good to see her really chasing after God and getting involved. Within the ministry I believe a huge thing that has been impacting it is the focus on prayer. Through prayer I find people are encouraged to really grow in passion and desire for God. I can see god overall working in different ways starting with individuals to really grow the youth. 
           Within my ministry I'm involved in not only do I see God working in the individuals attending but I also see this within the leaders. Through Phil I can see a passion god has placed in his heart for the youth. I've seen how much of a desire he has to see youth grow and also develop a passion for God. I can see God working in the ministry through phill because of the passion he's placed in Phils heart. Phil has a huge focus on prayer and prayer for others. Every night before youth a prayer time occurs that you can sense God in. Through this prayer time it prepares the youth leaders for the night. Overall in this ministry area I have seen god working as he is putting passion in leaders to love the youth, and challenge them. For me in particular I have found this desire to pray for those there that are hurting.
          Therefore through the ministry I'm involved in at Bethel Tabernacle I can see god is working in the hearts of the youth and challenging them to think beyond themselves. Therefore also developing strong passionate leaders who will encourage other youth to chase after god by speaking truth into their lives and showing them love.

*Sunday, November 11th*

To Lead Well Also Means Following Well

            A leader is someone who is followed by others, and someone who leads or commands a group. Over the program I have noticed different qualities which make someone a good leader. I am realizing more and more that sometimes it is hard to be a good leader when you’re tired, stressed, and feeling stretched beyond your own capacity. In living with other leaders you realize more and more what makes a good leader. So far the characteristics that I have noticed in a good leader include; someone who isn’t afraid to ask for help and admit they don’t know everything, someone who encourages others despite the way they are feeling, sets a good example, keeps a positive attitude no matter what they are asked to do, helps out without being asked, and someone who keeps their integrity. Sometimes being a leader is challenging because there are many people looking up to you that when you screw up they will notice. The life of a leader can be overwhelming always trying to be the perfect leader. Being a perfect leader is pretty much impossible as we all screw up sometimes. To keep all the characteristics of a leader at all times can be quite challenging especially on weeks when you’re struggling to put a smile on your face. As a leader it is important that no matter how you are feeling you make the effort to be the best leader you can be setting an example for those who are following you. If you mess up your followers will realize and they will think it is okay for them to do something similar to what you have done.

            Being a leader means following well sometimes. At times it can be hard to follow other leaders even when they are a strong leader. At times I find it a challenge to follow other leaders even when they are a good leader because sometimes it seems easier to do things my own way and sometimes it would be nice to be able to lead myself. For example in our video project for OT lit course I found it really hard sometimes to follow what the leaders of the groups were asking for us to do because I didn’t always agree with what they were asking of us. I thought there was a better way to do it and wanted to do it that way. In every good leader there is still flaws and for me I find that when I notice someone’s flaws or flaws in a plan it can be hard for me to follow them when I think that there is a better way to do something. Overall at times being a follower is challenging when you too are a leader and believe that there is a better way to do something.

            A time when I didn't follow well would be during the filming of the OT video I really was having a rough week and I was exhausted, stressed with work and just overall distracted which made it really hard to follow well. I struggled to follow what was being asked of me because I thought that doing it my own way would be way better. When I was asked to do something I didn’t have a very servant heart. I complained, didn’t do it or did it with a negative attitude. However a time when I did follow well would be at youth group even when I didn’t want to be there when asked to do something I still did it with a servant heart, and a positive attitude. I encouraged other leaders there as well and made sure they knew that they were doing a good job as a leader. Therefore in conclusion there are times when I follow well and encourage other leaders and let other leaders lead but there are also times when I follow bad and believe I could do things better, in a better way and you can tell that I am a bad follower by my attitude and the effort I don’t put forth when serving.

October 27th, 2012

Intentionality in Relationships

October 10th,2012

This year one of my largest goals is being intentional in friendships within the program as long as relationships with individuals in the youth group I am helping at and connections with the ministry team leaders. I realize the biggest challenge and barrier being for me might be vulnerability and honesty in all 3 contexts. As I go into all these areas my goal and hopes for the year are that I would be able to overcome that barrier and be the most intentional that I can be in connecting with the people that God has put in my life and the people’s lives I’ve been put into.

In connecting with the children and youth from Bethel tabernacle I wouldn’t say I’ve been extremely intentional yet in these connections. I’ve spent a lot of time observing and trying to figure out what certain people are like and ways that I can get to know them better. As this Friday approaches I will be sharing my testimony and I think this is a big thing in being intentional as it will open up me as a person to the youth and children and therefore they will be able to better understand where I’ve come from and hopefully will be able to open up with me. My whole reason for sharing my testimony is to not only share what God has done in my life and how awesome he is; but to also break down those walls between me and the youth and to show them that I too struggle and have gone through stuff in my life but I have made it out of those struggles and grown in Christ because of how incredible he is. My hopes are that individuals through my testimony will be able to see that there is hope in these situations too. As the year continues to go by fast I don’t want to miss the opportunities to connect with the individuals at the youth group I want to be more intentional by interacting, approaching them and coming alongside them and encouraging them. I hope to be able to get to know the individuals a lot better and encourage them to grow in a walk with God as well as challenge their thinking on what they believe to help them come to a place of belief in God.  I feel like I could do a much better job in making the connections with the youth and children at the church and I plan on beginning this Friday without fear of what they will think of me.

In the connections with ministry team leaders I believe overall my intentionality has been much stronger as we have connected through meals together a couple times now which has enabled me to be able to see them in a different environment. I have been intentional in when they ask questions about our expectations for the year, or our our expectations from them I have been as honest as I have been able to. I believe in order to be more intentional I could approach them when I am confused about what’s supposed to be happening, or approach them when I have a question about anything. Also, Instead of waiting for them to come to me I believe to be more intentional I could be the one to approach them and ask them how they are doing. By doing this I would be able to encourage them and pray for them as well which would help in developing a relationship that is more intentional with them.

I feel like these intentional connections haven’t been done to my best ability but I feel as though I could do better and as I think and reflect on my relationships I realize about the importance of intentionality. I also realize how being intentional has such a huge impact on relationships with others. I want myself this year to be able to develop the best relationships that I can and the only way I can do this is through being intentional in the relationships and not always waiting to be approached but sometimes do the approaching. 

My Life In Ministry

*September 27th, 2012*

After a whole summer of serving at Qwanoes in ministry I was exhausted and new I needed a break. Going home as I began to think and pray about this coming year in the Kaleo program I began finding myself doubting and pondering this whole idea of being involved in church ministry. Not just any church ministry though, a church ministry other than the one I was involved in all year back home. Throughout the summer I was very hesitant to get involved in a church here in BC because I didn’t know exactly what it would be like and I guess you can say I was scared. I liked things the way they were back home and so much had been changing around me since coming out to BC. I wasn’t yet ready for a new church. In saying this I will admit I did not go to church once throughout the whole summer except at the beginning when we all went together. I was so involved in my church back home that I continued to hold onto everything that was going on back home. The ministries I was involved in and the services I attended. I wanted everything to be the same.

            Coming into the Kaleo program I knew that part of the program would involve me getting connected to a church which would become my home church for the next 8 months. This was a frightening thought for me because I had managed to avoid this all summer and I was afraid that as I went into this new church ‘Bethel Tabernacle’ that I would have a terrible time, be miserable and just look for parts of it to put down because in my mind the only place I wanted to be was Innerkip Church back home in Ontario. My role at this church would be me volunteering and helping in the youth group on Fridays. I wasn’t sure at first how this would go because I was so used to my youth group back home and the involvement I had with it. At first I was out of my comfort zone. I had no idea how much I should do or should not do. I didn’t know if I should reach out to people or sit back at first. As I struggled with the role I should take I found myself feeling insecure. My mind filled with all these fears of what others may think of me there. The ideas or thoughts people might have of me if I am like I was back home so I kept to myself a lot. I held back and was closed off. I found it hard at first to connect with the youth because I was so used to having a youth group of all Christians and I was now going into a youth group with 60/40 ratio where 60 percent where not Christians. I was afraid that for me taking a leadership role that would hold me back more because I’ve grown up most of my life surrounded with Christian friends and people. As I began thinking about this role over the week that has been following I realized this is what I’ve been praying for and hoping for, for so much of my past year. My dream has been to be able to through Christ bring people to a place where they know the love of Christ and experience him in a way that they realize he is so real and they make a choice for themselves to follow after him with all their life. I love seeing people going on a journey. I noticed my placement in this youth group is perfect as I will get to love people to Christ with Christ’s love. I realized I have nothing that I should hold back because it is through me that God is going to be able to impact people that are so closed off. I praise God now as I reflect on this youth group because I know I once was them. I was in a place where I thought God was boring and now I get the opportunity to be able to help, encourage and see kids get excited for God.

              I believe a struggle with this ministry opportunity is going to be following what God asks me to do and not letting the fear stop me. Just watching myself and how I reacted at youth on the past Friday I realized that I was scared, I shied away from opportunities I could have had because of the fear of being judged, and looked down upon. I know that this is going to be an incredible opportunity now as I reflect, but also realize the struggle it will be in stepping outside what I am used to and what I am comfortable with. Realizing that some of these kids have difficult stories I know I will need Gods wisdom and exhortation on how to connect with them, and how to counsel them in a way that is not condemning but rather encouraging. I hope as I look at this year that God is going to help me to step out of my comfort zone and just reach out to each individual and get to know where their hearts are at and enable me to become more comfortable with reaching out to each youth that attends gravity youth. As I look at this year I am excited for all that I know Christ is going to do at this youth group knowing his mighty power that he is going to use to transform peoples lives.